The Revised (Abridged) Constitution of the Republic


I managed to get my hands on a copy of a heavily redacted document containing notes for what appears to be a revised Constitution for the Republic. The document appears to have been misplaced by a distracted official on a bench in Upper Barrakka Gardens.

The content is meant to be ignored given the hot summer sun, the sound of fireworks and the lack of a Prime Minister in office at this time. For what it’s worth, I’m sharing the raw notes as best I could glean from the illegible cursive handwriting.

“Malta is a populist republic based on networking; your basic rights depend on who you know. The land, shore and waters of Malta are reserved for exploitation by the highest networked bidder. The notion of public domain is abolished.

The religion of Malta is officially the Roman Catholic Apostolic religion, except on weekends and feast days. During election periods and times of heightened political tension, the official religion reverts to the duopoly bipartisan Church of the PLPN.

The State recognizes the right of all citizens to feed on public funds and must promote the hierarchical hierarchy that will make this right effective. The higher the networking, the better the bite.

The State is committed to the complete urbanization, the cementing and the uglification of the islands to better lubricate the networked machine and the economic circle on which it depends. To this end, the destruction, sale and obliteration of the public domain are authorized until stocks are exhausted. It is illegal to have more than one tree per square kilometer.

For the benefit of future generations, the state ensures that social and environmental degradation reaches such levels that emigration is the only option. Future generations are cordially invited to leave the island as soon as possible.

Education is compulsory and free. Citizens have the right to opt out of standard education and enter the hierarchical system allowing for non-meritocracy (refer to the “who you know” principle above). The position of “trusted persons” is reserved for the elite of the network hierarchy.

Work, employment or “earning my daily bread” is a recognized right for all citizens as long as they are fully integrated into the network hierarchy. No prior experience is required other than “Tajtek in-Number 1” and “Partitarju sal-Mewt” certification.

The acquisition, possession, renunciation and loss of Maltese citizenship is regulated by law…with emphasis on acquisition.

Citizens are protected against arbitrary arrest or detention. In addition, any citizen with sufficient network qualification will enjoy additional immunity from investigation, arrest, prosecution, or imprisonment. The prosecutor, the police and other competent institutions ensure that this immunity is guaranteed either by inaction or by the clumsy and erroneous non-application of the law.

No one will be required to perform forced labor unless such forced labor is disguised as dream work in the Maltese Islands working for network system exploiters in industries such as construction or food delivery. Likewise, no one shall be subjected to inhuman and degrading treatment unless such treatment is necessary in the performance of disguised forced labour.

Citizens have the right to enjoy their property without encroachment, without prejudice to the principles of ugliness mentioned above.

No one will be hindered in the enjoyment of his freedom of expression. Opinions are expressed freely without prejudice to the right of the State to relegate the bearers of opinions contrary to its own to the lower rungs of the network preference hierarchy. You are free to say what you want and the State is free to draw conclusions accordingly.

Likewise, you have the right to request information from all state entities, including on the use of public funds. This right is however limited to the request and the State can do everything possible to prevent the publication or supply of any information requested, in particular if it goes against the interests of the hierarchy in the network.

Citizens can move freely within the territories of the Republic and can freely assemble for any reason. This does not, however, affect the right of the network hierarchy to savor their just desserts in peace, without any disturbance or protest. It is the duty of the police to ensure that protesting citizens claiming any rights do not unduly disrupt the enjoyment of the hierarchical elite and the continued generation of profits from the public purse and the land.

There will be a President of Malta who will sanction laws enacted by the Legislature, except in cases where the President disagrees with the content, in which case the President will go on paid vacation and be temporarily replaced by a Member of Parliament while as sympathetic who is ready to sign the problematic law.

There will be a government and an opposition that will alternate in managing the public purse for the greater glory of the networked elite. Government and opposition parties will go through the motions of having a political platform while functioning internally as ladders in the networked gravy boat fueled by public funds. Government and opposition parties are exempt from taxes, utility bills, accountability and any liability whatsoever.

The real question is: do we need to amend the Constitution, or has it already been watered down as is? The king is dead, long live the king !


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